So today, and really for the last two weeks, my heart is hurting a lot again. I miss her voice. I miss her laughter. I miss the way she would get excited about things. I miss the way her spirit would fill the entire room when she entered. I just miss her.
But there are two promises that God has given us that I am holding on to with white knuckles and not letting go of. The first is there is eternal life and Metisha has that and I will too because we chose to accept a gift which we do not deserve. The second is that joy will come again. Joy WILL come again. This is an important promise for me because I have feared that without Metisha our family will never again have joy. I remember sitting at my kitchen table with my Dad last winter and we were talking about Metisha’s declining health and what the worst case scenario would be. I remember telling him with tears streaming down my face that I was most afraid that regardless of whether Metisha lived or died, we would never experience joy again. We would either be constantly battling fear of cancer or forever devastated by her death. Where and how could joy fit into either one? Dad told me we will have joy. It will take time but there will be more joy than sadness. I didn’t believe him. My heart was full of anger and fear and just could not absorb the possibility.
But when we needed it most, God gave Dad tangible proof to backup his statement. Just 6 days before Metisha died, Dad was out walking at the family farm and came across a single page out of Bible lying in the dirt, dropped there after a tornado went through the area. It was Psalm 29, 30 and 31 and on the page was Psalm 30:5 which says, “weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning.” Joy comes in the morning. We know God sent this scripture for us and was telling us this promise is for us. So now I believe my Dad, am holding on fervently to this promise. I don’t know how long the night will last. I don’t know how dark the night will get. But weeping will turn to joy.
After Dad got back to town he posted his story on Facebook. And in a string of comments to Dad’s story on Facebook is this:
Metisha Ewbank Welsh So cool Dad!!! I love you!
May 31 at 7:13pm
Danny Ewbank Love you more than u know!
May 31 at 8:44pm
4 comments:
That is one of my favorite scriptures, and one that has also gotten me through some hard and dark times. Keep clinging to His truth! I have no doubt that that page was planted in that field for you guys, just as you said. I cannot imagine how much you must hurt. I always think my sadness and grief must majorly pale in comparison to you and your family's. I and so many others join and stand by you in missing and remembering her. I miss her fun, jovial nature and sarcastic, witty zingers. I miss her retelling of stories in only the way she could do best. I agree with you .... I miss her. All those wonderful things that make her Metisha. :-) Love and hugs to you and your's!
Love,
Katy
The joy of the Lord is our salvation! You all are a Blessed family. You know in whom you can trust and depend upon.I miss her so much. That smile is what I will keep in my heart forever! Keep on keeping on you all are AWESOME!! Take care!!
Such an amazing story. With time, you will heal, rest assured. It's in HIS plan. I still have the last text that was sent from her on my phone and will keep it forever. When I feel as though things are hard to deal with, I read her text, and think about how minute my problems are in the big picture. I will forever be grateful for the time I spent with her, and the words of wisdom she shared with me. Thanks for still posting...it is cathartic for many of us. With love and understanding, Jen
Regan, my heart absolutely breaks for you and your sweet family. I have no doubt in my mind that that page was sent specifically to you and your family and I know that joy will come again. Tish was truly one of a kind and an angel on earth. Even though she is not here with us physically anymore, I know she is smiling, laughing and looking down on us below from her mansion in Heaven. I feel truly blessed to have known such an amazing woman and we love each and every one of you. Praying for you and your family constantly. Praying for peace, joy, comfort, faith and for you to feel His presence and for Him to wrap His loving arms around you and hold tight. Love you all
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