Saturday, May 28, 2011

Reality

I know it has been a long time since I have posted an update. Honestly we have been taking some time to adjust to the reality Metisha is facing. The last two chemo drugs have not worked in her liver. The cancer has gotten must worse. Metisha is experiencing a lot of pain and is extremely fatigued and exhausted. The cancer is destroying her body and there are no medical tools left to fight against it. The reality is Metisha is now starting her journey to her forever home and we have to say goodbye for now.


I know these words are painful to read. I have cried over them for days. I have struggled with what to say and how to say it and when to say it. I don’t understand why Metisha, why cancer, why at her age, why … The only thing I know for certain is this goodbye is not forever. This goodbye is really a “see you later”. Metisha will be fully restored in heaven and her loving Father and Savior is there waiting for her. And someday I will be with her there too.

We don’t know if we are left with weeks or months. Her doctors have contacted MD Andersen and they have no treatment options for her because of the current state of her liver. She is seeing a doctor in Dallas on Wednesday who specializes in late stage terminal cancer. We do not know if she will have any options for Metisha but we are praying that she is either God’s miracle of a cure or the doctor will say there is nothing she can do. We don’t want Metisha to have to endure another treatment that provides no results.  Pray for wisdom and clarity for Mark and Metisha when they visit with the doctor on Wednesday. 

I know you all love Metisha and want to hug her and tell her you love her. But saying goodbye through the tears over and over again is just too hard for her and she simply does not have the physical strength or emotional strength to endure the goodbyes. We need you to respect Metisha’s wishes and need for privacy during this time. I know you want her to know how much you love her so please send her cards and letters but do not visit or call her. Please understand that she loves you dearly and is so thankful for you constant prayers and support. She knows how much she is loved, but she needs to limit her precious time left to our immediately family only.

Metisha is at peace. She is sad for all that she will miss but is ready to be healthy and whole again. As her family, we cannot begin to imagine life on earth without her, but we too are ready for her to be free of the cancer and free of the suffering. She is an amazing person who has touched more lives than we will ever know. Her spirit and attitude is so contagious that this world will not be as bright of a place with her gone.

We cannot say thank you enough for all that you have done for Metisha and our family over the past four years. I can say with 100% certainty that God has used you to comfort us and we know that when we arrive at the other side of this journey, you will still be there providing that comfort.

We don’t want to spend our last days on Earth with Metisha in total sadness and are fighting to have happy and joyful moments. And of course Metisha’s attitude and spirit often makes that possible! She told Mom people should send her flowers now instead of to her funeral because she can’t enjoy them when she’s dead! Of course she was kidding!

Please know that we still believe God can perform a miracle and if that miracle happens, it will be certain that it is all God! But while we never give up hope, we have to prepare ourselves for her passing. Please continue to pray with us that Metisha will be relived from the pain and for peace and strength for Metisha and Mark and their families as we travel to the end of this journey.

11 comments:

Sweet Pea said...

We're praying for your family! Love you guys, Brad, Marshalene, Hunter & Winston

Monica said...

I know no words can take away the pain you and your family is going through, but please know we are constantly praying for God's will to be done! I love all of you and pray that God will help you through this part of the journey. Love always, Monica and Ryan Wahl.

Eva Martens said...

Regan, Thanks for sharing. You have such a gift of words even in the most difficult circumstances. We have been praying for a miracle for Metisha along with you. We need to continue to watch for those miracles for years to come. We will continue to uphold all of you with our prayers and will pray for many moments full of joy in addition to peace and comfort.
Sending our love,
Garen and Eva

Francy said...

We don't have words to express how our hearts hurt for all of you. Even through all of this, Metisha and your family are comforting us. We have been enriched by knowing all of you. Watching Metisha suffer through all of this has been so hard, but she is an example we will never forget of God's grace through trials. All of our love and prayers are with you!

Jennifer Davis said...

I'm praying for you and your family!! I wish I could find the words for comfort, but the only thing I can do is to ask God and his angels to wrap their arms around you and your family for comfort!!! I love you guys!!! Regan, you have been so brave through this all. Sharing the updates and how Metisha is doing. She has the BEST sister in the world!!! I just wanted to tell you that.

Reminiscence ~ Photography by Stephanie Marti said...

Praying for you and your family.
Rob & Stephanie

Anonymous said...

Love Ya my friend! May God Bless you and your family! May he give you comfort in knowing who he is!REGAN YOU ARE AWESOME!!Be Encouraged!!

Chase said...

I was informed about this story about a week ago and my co-workers and I are extremely touched, moved, and have came to realize what we have.

You will be in each of our prayers.

Anonymous said...

Well said Regan, you represent your sister with an amazing spirit and grace. My family wishes all the best to Metisha as she travels to Dallas.
Karnesa McGaha

Anonymous said...

We are just loving you all. You are in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. Glenn, Tina, Ashley, Marina, & Valarie Monteith

kay said...

Dear sweet Regan,
Thanks for your latest post....I cannot even imagine what you all are going through. You have shared Metisha's testimonial of her strong faith in God, which has been a comfort and guide for all of us. She has endured more than we can imagine but always has been positive and humorous in the midst of all her treatments and pain. You all mean so much to us and we send our prayers for strength and understanding as God leads us in the days ahead. Love to you all, Larry and Kay Kiner and family